No matter how skilled a surfer you are there are some days when a wave comes barreling through making you loose control and dragging you under. Life works the same way. No matter how strong a person you are, the stresses of life begin to build on each other. creating a wave stronger that you can surf. For me, the events in the next few weeks did just that. The small waves in my life built up to create a “Rogue wave”.
At this point, I was in a flare period that I couldn’t calm down. I spent three weeks unable to get out of bed and unable to eat anything without having a reaction. These reactions began to progress to anaphylactic reactions. Taking a bite of any food or even certain scents would cause my throat to swell. My body was perceiving everything as an allergy.
Despite how burdening my symptoms had become the strongest “wave” hit when I discovered there were people in my life who didn’t believe something was wrong. This discovery hurt me more than any symptom I have faced. Many people, who I considered to be close friends thought it was in my head and something I was making up. Hearing this took that last little bit of positivity that remained. I “shut out” everyone for a good three weeks, I didn’t answer texts, ignored phone calls, and took out my anger on those who loved me the most. In all honesty, I still struggle with this from time to time today. However, I am thankful that life circumstances were able to show me peoples true colors.
This wave took me under and kept me down for a while and it took me some time to catch my breath when I came back up. During this time, I became a person that I could no longer recognize. I was nasty to everyone and despite my realization of this, I didn’t know how to control it. (If you were a person on the other side during this situation I am sorry this frustration was taken out on you. )
Truth is, life is going to send it’s “rogue waves” at you full force making you vulnerable for a little bit. It’s during these times when you just need to hold your breath. The wave only lasts a few seconds before letting you up for air. No matter how strong that wave feels it can’t hold that strength forever.