For some reason the symbol of an anchor always had a negative connotation to me. In the past, I always saw an anchor as a device that held you back, and stopped your journey. However, the real purpose of an anchor is to keep the boat stable and prevent it from sinking.
As I have talked about in previous posts, life will constantly throw storms at us. This is not in our control, we cannot stop the storms from coming. However , we CAN prevent them from causing lasting destruction in our lives. Each one of us has an “anchor” inside that holds us stable through some of the roughest storms, but even with this anchor, it can still feel as if we are sinking. Here comes the challenging part, WE have to refuse to sink. This is so much easier said than done. The mind can be a very powerful weapon, that leads to thoughts that are nowhere near true, but in the moment can feel so believable. These vicious thoughts are different for everyone. However, whatever they may be know that this is merely your mind playing tricks on you. You have an anchor inside of you that is going to hold you steady while the storm passes but, you have to make the choice of refusing to sink. This allows you to still enjoy your journey even when it is momentarily stopped.
For the past several months, I was aware of the anchor inside of me, holding me steady, but I wasn’t refusing to sink. To be fair, I wasn’t aware this was an option. My life felt out of my control, and I felt like I was sinking. I grew frustrated because I felt as if I wasn’t making any progress. I would try new foods, new treatments etc. just to end in yet another flare. I felt like every aspect of my life had to be controlled to prevent myself from feeling sick. I began to feel as if the rest of my life was going to be ONLY about this illness. The truth is, with this mindset I was in, even my best days became occupied with these thoughts. My life really WAS all about my illness, but, it didn’t have to be.
Prior to about 2 weeks ago, the onset of a flare would bring about a lot of guilt. Instantly, I would blame myself for not being careful enough, or eating a food that caused me a reaction. These feelings of guilt were then followed by a fear that the flare wouldn’t pass. I’m not sure what made me realize this but, suddenly I knew that in order to make any progress, I had to take some risks
. Over these past two weeks I have been working on letting go of the guilt that accompanies my flare ups. Through this action alone, I have been able to try new things, pushing aside the guilt and instead view a negative outcome (flareup) as a lesson I can learn from. Being able to see the positives is not as easy as deciding to. It is a skill that takes time to adopt. I still struggle and will continue to struggle with this skill. However, over the past two weeks I am proud of the progress I have made. I haven’t changed anything about my situation, other than changing my mindset-refusing to sink. I have found, that this tactic has allowed me to be happier and learn a lot about myself and the situation I am in. Suddenly, I am able to see the joy in the little things, all because I am refusing to focus on the negatives – refusing to sink.
No matter what your situation may be remember you have an anchor inside of you that is holding you steady. Positivity is a skill that takes a lot of work. It is not easy, but, it is worth the extra effort. I encourage you to seek out something positive in every situation. You will always be held steady but it is up to you to refuse to sink.