” You will never cross the ocean if you do not have the courage to lose sight of the shore.”Christopher Columbus
I am not brave, and I definitely do not have it all together but that doesn’t stop me from trying new things without knowing exactly what the outcome would be. MCAS is a very scary condition to have and even more scary to try and treat. When I take new medication, supplements, or treatments to try and improve symptoms, I have no idea how my body is going to respond. The most harmless thing could turn my good day, week etc. into an immediate flare. Sometimes these flares could last a few hours or sometimes it can take weeks for me to feel as good as I was prior to the treatment. Several treatments I have tried have backfired on me and instead of helping, have set me into a major flare, or even worse, caused me to go into scary reactions. But there have also been several treatments that I tried and that have helped, and I never would have known that without giving it a chance. I want people to know that persisting despite the fear I have of reacting does not make me brave. I have never seen myself as a courageous person. Instead, I continue to try new things because I have a greater fear that is driving me.
I am terrified of being stuck like this forever. The idea of chronic illness has been one I have not been able to accept. Therefore, ever since diagnosis, I have been doing tons of research on chronic disease and functional medicine treatments. Through research, I have discovered that there is a way to put chronic disease back to dormancy in your body!! It is not an easy process, it takes time, persistence, willingness, and sacrifice but in the end can assure myself it will be so much better than the situation I am in now. I have no way of knowing how long this will take or what the end outcome will be.
Although there is a lot of uncertainty of the journey ahead, and it often can feel slow and exhausting, progress is being made. I can’t promise I will always accept the setbacks, however, I can promise to never stop trying, because I know for a fact that I will never be able to cross the ocean if I am not willing to lose sight of the shore.